


may your feet serve you well (and the rest be sent to hell)

by pitchblackkoi



Category: The Bastards Crew
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, I kill Paris because I hate that idiot, Lise is Aphrodite in the City as told by the Mechanisms, SO ITS UP TO ME, because helen hates paris and most modern adaptations dont recognize that, this was written with a lot of spite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 11:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19172056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pitchblackkoi/pseuds/pitchblackkoi
Summary: Those in the City will tell you: you do not mess with Aphrodite or her people. They will get revenge of the highest order. Paris should have realized this when he took Helen.





	may your feet serve you well (and the rest be sent to hell)

**Author's Note:**

> The working title for this was "I will take a hammer and I will FIX THE ILIAD" and that's really all you need to know.

The thing about the War is that over the years information got shifted and changed into a less accurate version of events. And by over the years, I mean that it didn’t take long at all really. Because Paris lied. He told everyone that Helen fell in love with him and that Aphrodite gave her to him so that he could sweep her out of a loveless marriage. 

This version of events ignores a lot of facts. Yes, Helen did work at one of Aphrodite’s clubs. But Aphrodite has never thought that gave them dominion over their employees. Quite the opposite, they give their employees free will when it comes to their customers and, above all, take care of them. People know better than to mess with Aphrodite and messing with their people is messing with them. Everyone knows this except, apparently, for Paris. 

Helen doesn’t love Paris, nor did she fall in love with him during their journey. She loves her husband very much, which is why she married him. Menelaus has always been good to her. Paris kidnapped her. Aphrodite didn’t hand her over and she certainly didn’t go willingly. When she was walking home from work he kidnapped her and took her away to Ilium.

Another thing he didn’t realize is this: Aphrodite does not just forgive and forget. They get even. They make things right. Through the entire war they had planned to get Helen back. This is how it happens.

The war has dragged on and Aphrodite-- Lise-- knows that it is to end soon with Ulysses’ invention. They have one priority and it is getting Helen out of there before things go sideways. And maybe getting revenge on Paris. Some in the City like to say that Aphrodite is a kind and gentle Olympian who looks after lovers. Those people have never met them. What people forget about love is that while it can be gentle and soft, it can also be harsh and cutting.

It takes naught but a glare from Aphrodite, towering and beautiful, for them to be let into Ilium. They walk straight through the city, people staring in surprise as they pass, and right up to Paris’ estate. They do not knock on the door, they simply enter and start looking around.

“Helen?” they shout, voice echoing through the large and mostly empty interior. The estate is but and ostentatious, filled with marble and gold and other things meant to show off Paris’ wealth. It disgusts them.

“Lise?” comes the questioning call from upstairs. There is the sound of rushed movement before Helen appears on the top of the stairs. 

Helen is as beautiful as ever, her dark skin flawless and her dark, curly hair in braids interwoven with golden threads. A smile like a sunrise breaks across her face at the sight of her employer, her  _ friend _ , and she runs down the stairs and into their arms, the sapphire gown she wears trailing behind her.

“We have to get you out of here,” Lise tells her. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Helen shakes her head. “The War has been so chaotic, there was no way you could have gotten into the city. I’m just glad you came at all.”

Lise smiles at their friend and is about to say something when they hear someone stomping down the stairs. They look up, reflexively ushering Helen behind them and getting into a defensive stance. Up the stairs is Paris, of course, with his face fixed into a sneer and a gun pointed at them.

“Aphrodite,” he spits as he walks slowly closer. “I knew you would come at some point.”

“You were right about one thing in your life,” they say, glaring up at him. “At least you have that.”

“You think you can take her away,” he continues as if they hadn’t spoken, which only serves to make them angrier. “But she is  _ mine _ .”

With that last word he pulls the trigger, hitting them directly in the heart. A gasp punches out of their throat and they stumble a little, into Helen. Helen wraps her arms around Lise’s waist, tears in her eyes as she watches the blood stain into their white dress. Lise gasps, trying to get air so they can speak, but Helen just shushes them.

“Hey, hey, don’t try to speak,” she reassures. “We’ll figure this out, dove.”

That nickname, the one that only Helen calls them because she was the only one to ever dare to give them one, is what spurs Lise to shake off their shock. They take a big gasp of air and feel their heart repairing and their lung already fixed. They get back upright and glare right at Paris, who is at the foot of the stairs now, gaping.

“H-how did you- I shot you in the heart!” he shouts.

Lise lifts the end of their dress, revealing their metallic legs, and grabs the knife tucked into the holster at their thigh. They walk forward slowly, every click of their heels on the marble floor making the man in front of them flinch. They get right in his face as he visibly shakes in terror. 

They press the tip of the gold-plated dagger right above his heart and lean in to whisper in his ear. “I survived because I am  _ more  _ than the other Olympians. I am older, better, and  _ I do not die _ .”

With the last word they plunge the dagger into his heart, watching as he gasps and slumps to the floor. They retrieve their knife from his chest and he gasps again, louder this time, as he bleeds out. They wipe it off on his coat and put it back in the holster, turning to Helen.

To Helen’s credit she doesn’t looks frightened or disturbed, only a bit surprised. One of the things Lise has always admired about the woman is her constitution. She is strong and she is not easily rattled. She tends to take things in stride. It is a good quality.

Lise holds out a hand, the one without blood on it. “Let’s get you home.”

Helen smiles that sunshine smile again and takes it without hesitation. “I would like that.”

The two leave Ilium hand in hand and no one tries to stop them.


End file.
